BIG Things

There are some pretty big things happening in my life. As I near graduation, I think about the many changes that will be happening. I applied for graduate school last weekend!

I also became a member of New Beginning Church today! I am ready to take on the responsibilities of a member of Christ's Bride.

I have now raised $2,273 for Thailand!That is about 38% of my goal. God is so good!

In all of this, I want to be joyful because God is good in and of Himself; not because He has blessed me in all these ways.

"Though the fig tree should not blossom, nor fruit be on the vines, the produce of the olive fail and the fields yield no food, the flock be cut off from the fold and there be no herd in the stalls, YET I WILL REJOICE IN THE LORD; I will take joy in the God of my salvation." Habakkuk 3:17-18 (emphasis added)

"For you [God] make him [the king] most blessed forever; you make him glad with the joy of your presence." Psalm 21:7
David is joyful just in the Lord's presence.

Please keep praying for Thailand!
In Christ,
Christine Black ><>

Jazz

"harmonious"-suitable and fitting; existing together in correspondence with others

My favorite chapter from Paul Tripp's book A Quest for More is chapter twelve: Jazz. Tripp says the bottom line is "God calls us to the vertically interactive lifestyle of living in moment-by-moment harmony with Him" (143).

Being a music-lover and ex-band member myself, I really connected with Tripp in this concept of our relationship with the Lord and big kingdom living being like jazz. The thing about music is that it is very structured; certain notes and chords sound good together while others clash. Music follows a set of rules. But jazz is a little different. Jazz musicians are free to be creative and wonder from these rules. But this only works if they stay within the musical parameters of the song.

I remember warming up in middle school band. Each band member played something different, whether it was scales or a section of the music we were working on. It sounded horrible! There was no structure; we were all over the place. Then, as we began the song together as a group, the notes and chords meshed beautifully together in a musical masterpiece.

In a different setting, a jazz band warms up in the same way but they have more freedom in playing the pieces. They freestyle a little more. But if they don't follow the general structure of the song, they sound like they are just warming up.

God's kingdom is like a jazz kingdom. He provides structure in His Word. We follow those guidelines just like jazz musicians do. But the thing is, God doesn't provide every note on the page. "What you are given are very important parameters [. . .] and you are invited by the Great Composer to make redemptive jazz inside of that structure [. . .] God hasn't given us sheet music. He has composed a structure that liberates us to improvise within the structure, and all the while listening intently to one another and to him" (150).

Why hasn't He given us everything? Why hasn't He told us exactly what to do in every situation in our lives? He certainly ordained every moment, but He doesn't reveal that to us. "What he wants for us and from us is much bigger than dogged obedience to a set of standards. What he wants is us! He wants to be the treasure of our hearts and the joy of our souls. He wants to know the same community with us that he has known with himself in the Trinity. He is after a relationship with us! So, he gives us just what we need. We know the key that we are to play, and he has revealed to us what they time signature is, but he has not told us exactly what to do and say in all the moments of life where we will be making music with him. And he does this because he wants us to seek him, pray to him, and rely on him as we are improvising our way through life" (151).

Now the question is, where in your life are you tempted to write your own music rather than making harmonious music with the King? For me, it is my future. I always wrestle with God on my plans for the next few years. I "plan" to start graduate school in the fall, finish in 3 or 4 semesters and then move somewhere to be a part of the Teach for American program. I want to stay in the U.S. for "security" reasons like a stable job and job benefits. I often have to ask myself if this is really what God wants. And I don't know the answer yet. He hasn't revealed that to me yet. He is going to wait until the last minute to reveal what He wants me to do with my career. Until then, He is teaching me to trust in Him and rely on Him. It's working!

Put down your music and take up His. Quit composing your own music; harmonize with Him.

Please continue to pray for CCP. I want to harmonize with Him for the gospel overseas.

In Christ,
Christine ><>

A Quest for More

I just completed Paul David Tripp's book A Quest for More. It was a book that challenged and convicted me. To be honest, parts of it were hard to get through because I knew that I was not living for the kingdom of God as Tripp describes. I would like to share with you a few highlights from the book.

The bottom line is, we were created to be part of something big. "There is woven inside each of us a desire for something more-a craving to be part of something bigger, greater, and more profound than our relatively meaningless day-by-day existence" (14).

We have a choice: to live for our little kingdoms or to live for a kingdom much bigger than we could imagine, God's. "Ever since that fateful day [the fall], human life and history has been shaped by kingdoms in conflict[. . .] Everything everyone ever does is done in pursuit of the success of one of these kingdoms. This war is unceasing and inescapable because it is fought on the turf of each of our hearts. Created for 'big kingdom' living, sin twists our allegiance and causes us to be all too dedicated to the little kingdom of our own making" (50).

So what is this "little kingdom?" It isn't a location, but a commitment of the heart. What drives your day? What satisfies you and gives you a sense of purpose? The answers to these questions will tell you what kingdom you are living for.

"The fundamental difference between the two kingdoms can be seen in who resides in the center [. . .] To live for yourself is to rob yourself of your own humanity. It is only in living for Christ that we actually begin to become what we were meant to be" (98, 100).

So, if we can identify these so-called "little kingdoms," why do we keep serving them? Sin. "The DNA of sin is selfishness. Sin is about wanting my way, in my own way, and in my time" (56)..."Sin causes fundamental changes in the 'molecules' of my heart. No longer is my heart driven by a deep-seated love for God...The DNA of sin is selfishness, and it shrinks the size of my universe to the size of one" (86).

It is also very easy to say were are living for the kingdom of God but our lives don't show it. Are you self-focused? Self-righteous? Self-satisfied? Self-ruled? If so, you are still living for the little kingdom. "There really is no place for Christ in many people's Christianity. Their faith is not actually in Christ; it is in Christianity and their own ability to live it out" (106).

Tripp's words are very convicting and it was easy for me to be bogged down with guilt of living for the little kingdom of self. However, Tripp constantly reminds us of the gospel. "His grace blows a hole in your self-contained kingdom, and in his redemptive love he reaches in and pulls you out, again and again" (68). Christ suffered on the cross to free us to live for something bigger than our lives. His death also guarantees that some day this kingdom conflict will be over.

What does big kingdom living look like? "...radical abandonment of our whole being in grateful trust and love to the God disclosed in the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ: so that we become willing agents in a costly confrontation with every form of evil and unjust suffering in the world. This faith involves us in embracing the pain and confusion of others, and in being willing to live with uncertainty ourselves while moving towards a future that is already at work among us" (76).

Tripp also talks about groaning, anger, and loneliness. If we are living for the kingdom of God, we will groan because we are dissatisfied with the way things are. The full expression of God's kingdom has not yet come. He talks about anger in that God is angry when He doesn't get His way. We should be angry for the same reasons; not because we didn't get our way, but because things are not going God's way. We are going to be lonely because our Redeemer is our love that we are waiting to return.

This book was a tough read but it definitely opened my eyes to how I am living my daily life. I often think I am living for God's kingdom but all I am thinking is "me, me, me." I think of the principles in Tripp's book almost daily, asking myself why today was a good day (because of the Lord or because of me?) and how I treat others (like Jesus would or out of my own selfishness?). I would recommend this book to anyone but be ready to be convicted. You will end up angry, lonely, and groaning. At least that's how I feel.

Please pray as I apply big-kingdom living to my college life.
In Christ,
Christine ><>

C.S. Lewis says in Mere Christianity, "If you read history, you will find that the Christians who did most for the present world were those who thought most of the next [. . ]Aim at heaven and you will get earth 'thrown in': aim at earth and you will get neither."

Support-raising

Support-raising is really picking up! God is being so faithful! This week alone the Lord has blessed me with $525!
Please keep praying!

"He called his twelve disciples to him and gave them authority to drive out evila spirits and to heal every disease and sickness.

2These are the names of the twelve apostles: first, Simon (who is called Peter) and his brother Andrew; James son of Zebedee, and his brother John; 3Philip and Bartholomew; Thomas and Matthew the tax collector; James son of Alphaeus, and Thaddaeus; 4Simon the Zealot and Judas Iscariot, who betrayed him.

5These twelve Jesus sent out with the following instructions: “Do not go among the Gentiles or enter any town of the Samaritans. 6Go rather to the lost sheep of Israel. 7As you go, preach this message: ‘The kingdom of heaven is near.’ 8Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse those who have leprosy,b drive out demons. Freely you have received, freely give. 9Do not take along any gold or silver or copper in your belts; 10take no bag for the journey, or extra tunic, or sandals or a staff; for the worker is worth his keep.

11“Whatever town or village you enter, search for some worthy person there and stay at his house until you leave. 12As you enter the home, give it your greeting. 13If the home is deserving, let your peace rest on it; if it is not, let your peace return to you. 14If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, shake the dust off your feet when you leave that home or town. 15I tell you the truth, it will be more bearable for Sodom and Gomorrah on the day of judgment than for that town. 16I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. Therefore be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves.

17“Be on your guard against men; they will hand you over to the local councils and flog you in their synagogues. 18On my account you will be brought before governors and kings as witnesses to them and to the Gentiles. 19But when they arrest you, do not worry about what to say or how to say it. At that time you will be given what to say, 20for it will not be you speaking, but the Spirit of your Father speaking through you.

21“Brother will betray brother to death, and a father his child; children will rebel against their parents and have them put to death. 22All men will hate you because of me, but he who stands firm to the end will be saved. 23When you are persecuted in one place, flee to another. I tell you the truth, you will not finish going through the cities of Israel before the Son of Man comes."

Matthew 9:1-23 NIV

In Christ,
Christine