My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?

Among Jesus' last words were "My God, my God, why have you forsake me?" found in Matthew and Mark. These words have come to mean so much to me in the past year.

C. J. Mahaney writes in Living the Cross Centered Life, “For Jesus, the cross will bring incomparable and unprecedented suffering of wrath and abandonment.” When Jesus was praying in the garden of Gethsemane, He wasn’t crying out to God and sweating blood because He was afraid to die; He knew He was about to face all of God’s wrath toward sin poured out on Him. When Jesus prayed for God to “remove this cup,” He was pleading for the Lord to save Him from His wrath. What is this “cup?” It is a reference to the wrath of God for our sins. Isaiah 51:17 says “Wake yourself, wake yourself, stand up O Jerusalem, you who have drank from the hand of the Lord the cup of his wrath, who have drunk to the dregs the bowl, the cup of staggering.” In the words of Mahaney, “This cup contains the full vehemence and fierceness of God’s holy wrath poured out against all sins, and we discover in Scripture that it’s intended for all of sinful humanity to drink.” When Jesus prays in the garden, He is not worried about dying; He is in fear of the agony of being abandoned by His Father. Habakkuk 1:13 says “You who are of purer eyes than to see evil and cannot look at wrong…” God is so holy and so perfect that He cannot even look at sin. When Jesus called out “My God my God, why have You forsaken me?” He felt God look away because He could not look at all of the sin on Jesus.

Adam Hamilton in 24 Hours That Changed the World has a slightly different viewpoint on these words from the dying Messiah. He doesn't think God removed His gaze from His Son; He suffered with Jesus. Hamilton says that Jesus was facing what most of us face in our lives but to a much greater degree: a "moment when the silence of God is so deafening that we feel forsaken by him. Pain and doubt creep in and block out any sense of God's presence." Hamilton goes on to say that Jesus knows how we feel in times of despair because He has experienced it too. As much as I can see his point, I still think that Jesus' words have to do with God being too holy to look at all the sin that was placed on the atoning sacrifice of Jesus.

Whichever way we see it, one thing is for sure: Jesus died as the atoning sacrifice for our sins so that we can spend eternity with Him and God gets the glory. The cross is definitely a sign of love, but it is also a place where salvation is made possible for you and me.

Just a matter of time until we celebrate His resurrection!

In Christ,
Christine ><>

Please check out Matt Maher's song "You Were On the Cross." When we think God has turned His back on us, we must think of the cross-He was there suffering for us.

The True Vine

"I am the true vine and my Father is the vinedresser...abide in me and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine, you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing."
John 15:1-5

The Lord definitely showed me the reality of these verses today. I spoke at my home church in Huntsville about Thailand. I didn't have a big show planned with a video, music, or staggering statistics. I just prayed for the Holy Spirit to come. And He did. Big time. I thought I was a terrible speaker, I forgot the Bible verses and quoted them wrong, and I hardly smiled. But God showed up.

He provided $1,170 today alone at Aldersgate!

Praise the Lord! He is the only one who gets the glory!

Thank you for supporting me with your prayers and finances. It's not over yet! The journey has just begun.

In Christ,
Christine ><>

My Identity

The Lord taught me a very valuable lesson today. I had to ask myself, "Who do I belong to?" and "What do I find my identify and worth in?" And the answer to both of those questions is Christ.

I had a rough day today. I let one person make me feel worthless and I was utterly humiliated. However, as I was reflecting on the situation later, I realized all the people in the world could get mad at me but that wouldn't matter!

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come." 2 Corinthians 5:17

Because I am in Christ, I am forgiven (Colossians 2:13-14), accepted (Colossians 1:21-23),and adopted as a son (Galatians 4:4-5). It doesn't matter what others think of me! Whatever wrong I do, I am forgiven. When someone does not accept me, Christ will. When no one wants me, Christ does. And it is all because I have a new identity in the Lord.

Without understanding my position in Christ, it would be very easy to base my worth off of things of this world, such as the approval of man. I probably will never earn the acceptance of the person who hurt me today, but it is not needed. I have the love of my dear Savior. My Savior loved me so much that He DIED for me. No one on earth's acceptance of me can do that.

"For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ." Galatians 1:10

God has pursued me and LOVES me as His own daughter. I am fully accepted by Him and can be secure in this.

And what the Lord reminded me of during this ordeal was that He was with me the whole time. When was being humiliated, He was right there, holding my hand. What a Father.

"But now thus says the Lord,
he who created you, O Jacob,
he who formed you, O Israel:
Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I have called you by name, you are mine.
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you
and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you;
when you walk through fire you shall not be burned,
and the flame shall not consume you.
For I am the Lord your God,
the Holy One of Israel,your Savior...
Because you are precious in my eyes,
and honored, and I love you...
Fear not, I am with you."
Isaiah 43:1-6

What are you finding your identity and security in?

In Christ,
Christine ><>

Alive Again

This song by Matt Maher is my testimony:

I woke up in darkness
sounded by silence
oh where, where have I gone?

I woke to reality
losing its grip on me
oh where, where have I gone?

Cause I can see the light
before I see the sunrise

Chorus
You called and you shouted
broke through my deafness
now I’m breathing in
and breathing out
I’m alive again!

You shattered my darkness
washed away my blindness
now I’m breathing in
and breathing out
I’m alive again!

Verse 2
They never loved you
you waited for me,
I searched for you…
what took me so long?

I was looking outside
as a love would ever want to hide
I’m finding I was wrong

Cause I can feel the wind
before it hits my skin

Bridge
Cause I want you!
Yes, I want you,
I need you
And I’ll do what ever I have to
Just to get through
cause I love you
Yeah, I love you!

Please check it out on iTunes or on YouTube at
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r6w5szlpedY.
.

I am currently at 50% of my support for Thailand! Thank you for your prayers!

In Christ,
Christine ><>

$2,323

$2,323.

That is how much the Lord has provided me for Thailand. That's about 39% of my goal!

I am praying for $1,000 to come in this week. Sound big? It is. But God is bigger. Please join in me in praying for this specific goal.
Thanks for all you have done!

In Christ,
Christine ><>

BIG Things

There are some pretty big things happening in my life. As I near graduation, I think about the many changes that will be happening. I applied for graduate school last weekend!

I also became a member of New Beginning Church today! I am ready to take on the responsibilities of a member of Christ's Bride.

I have now raised $2,273 for Thailand!That is about 38% of my goal. God is so good!

In all of this, I want to be joyful because God is good in and of Himself; not because He has blessed me in all these ways.

"Though the fig tree should not blossom, nor fruit be on the vines, the produce of the olive fail and the fields yield no food, the flock be cut off from the fold and there be no herd in the stalls, YET I WILL REJOICE IN THE LORD; I will take joy in the God of my salvation." Habakkuk 3:17-18 (emphasis added)

"For you [God] make him [the king] most blessed forever; you make him glad with the joy of your presence." Psalm 21:7
David is joyful just in the Lord's presence.

Please keep praying for Thailand!
In Christ,
Christine Black ><>

Jazz

"harmonious"-suitable and fitting; existing together in correspondence with others

My favorite chapter from Paul Tripp's book A Quest for More is chapter twelve: Jazz. Tripp says the bottom line is "God calls us to the vertically interactive lifestyle of living in moment-by-moment harmony with Him" (143).

Being a music-lover and ex-band member myself, I really connected with Tripp in this concept of our relationship with the Lord and big kingdom living being like jazz. The thing about music is that it is very structured; certain notes and chords sound good together while others clash. Music follows a set of rules. But jazz is a little different. Jazz musicians are free to be creative and wonder from these rules. But this only works if they stay within the musical parameters of the song.

I remember warming up in middle school band. Each band member played something different, whether it was scales or a section of the music we were working on. It sounded horrible! There was no structure; we were all over the place. Then, as we began the song together as a group, the notes and chords meshed beautifully together in a musical masterpiece.

In a different setting, a jazz band warms up in the same way but they have more freedom in playing the pieces. They freestyle a little more. But if they don't follow the general structure of the song, they sound like they are just warming up.

God's kingdom is like a jazz kingdom. He provides structure in His Word. We follow those guidelines just like jazz musicians do. But the thing is, God doesn't provide every note on the page. "What you are given are very important parameters [. . .] and you are invited by the Great Composer to make redemptive jazz inside of that structure [. . .] God hasn't given us sheet music. He has composed a structure that liberates us to improvise within the structure, and all the while listening intently to one another and to him" (150).

Why hasn't He given us everything? Why hasn't He told us exactly what to do in every situation in our lives? He certainly ordained every moment, but He doesn't reveal that to us. "What he wants for us and from us is much bigger than dogged obedience to a set of standards. What he wants is us! He wants to be the treasure of our hearts and the joy of our souls. He wants to know the same community with us that he has known with himself in the Trinity. He is after a relationship with us! So, he gives us just what we need. We know the key that we are to play, and he has revealed to us what they time signature is, but he has not told us exactly what to do and say in all the moments of life where we will be making music with him. And he does this because he wants us to seek him, pray to him, and rely on him as we are improvising our way through life" (151).

Now the question is, where in your life are you tempted to write your own music rather than making harmonious music with the King? For me, it is my future. I always wrestle with God on my plans for the next few years. I "plan" to start graduate school in the fall, finish in 3 or 4 semesters and then move somewhere to be a part of the Teach for American program. I want to stay in the U.S. for "security" reasons like a stable job and job benefits. I often have to ask myself if this is really what God wants. And I don't know the answer yet. He hasn't revealed that to me yet. He is going to wait until the last minute to reveal what He wants me to do with my career. Until then, He is teaching me to trust in Him and rely on Him. It's working!

Put down your music and take up His. Quit composing your own music; harmonize with Him.

Please continue to pray for CCP. I want to harmonize with Him for the gospel overseas.

In Christ,
Christine ><>