A Quest for More

I just completed Paul David Tripp's book A Quest for More. It was a book that challenged and convicted me. To be honest, parts of it were hard to get through because I knew that I was not living for the kingdom of God as Tripp describes. I would like to share with you a few highlights from the book.

The bottom line is, we were created to be part of something big. "There is woven inside each of us a desire for something more-a craving to be part of something bigger, greater, and more profound than our relatively meaningless day-by-day existence" (14).

We have a choice: to live for our little kingdoms or to live for a kingdom much bigger than we could imagine, God's. "Ever since that fateful day [the fall], human life and history has been shaped by kingdoms in conflict[. . .] Everything everyone ever does is done in pursuit of the success of one of these kingdoms. This war is unceasing and inescapable because it is fought on the turf of each of our hearts. Created for 'big kingdom' living, sin twists our allegiance and causes us to be all too dedicated to the little kingdom of our own making" (50).

So what is this "little kingdom?" It isn't a location, but a commitment of the heart. What drives your day? What satisfies you and gives you a sense of purpose? The answers to these questions will tell you what kingdom you are living for.

"The fundamental difference between the two kingdoms can be seen in who resides in the center [. . .] To live for yourself is to rob yourself of your own humanity. It is only in living for Christ that we actually begin to become what we were meant to be" (98, 100).

So, if we can identify these so-called "little kingdoms," why do we keep serving them? Sin. "The DNA of sin is selfishness. Sin is about wanting my way, in my own way, and in my time" (56)..."Sin causes fundamental changes in the 'molecules' of my heart. No longer is my heart driven by a deep-seated love for God...The DNA of sin is selfishness, and it shrinks the size of my universe to the size of one" (86).

It is also very easy to say were are living for the kingdom of God but our lives don't show it. Are you self-focused? Self-righteous? Self-satisfied? Self-ruled? If so, you are still living for the little kingdom. "There really is no place for Christ in many people's Christianity. Their faith is not actually in Christ; it is in Christianity and their own ability to live it out" (106).

Tripp's words are very convicting and it was easy for me to be bogged down with guilt of living for the little kingdom of self. However, Tripp constantly reminds us of the gospel. "His grace blows a hole in your self-contained kingdom, and in his redemptive love he reaches in and pulls you out, again and again" (68). Christ suffered on the cross to free us to live for something bigger than our lives. His death also guarantees that some day this kingdom conflict will be over.

What does big kingdom living look like? "...radical abandonment of our whole being in grateful trust and love to the God disclosed in the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ: so that we become willing agents in a costly confrontation with every form of evil and unjust suffering in the world. This faith involves us in embracing the pain and confusion of others, and in being willing to live with uncertainty ourselves while moving towards a future that is already at work among us" (76).

Tripp also talks about groaning, anger, and loneliness. If we are living for the kingdom of God, we will groan because we are dissatisfied with the way things are. The full expression of God's kingdom has not yet come. He talks about anger in that God is angry when He doesn't get His way. We should be angry for the same reasons; not because we didn't get our way, but because things are not going God's way. We are going to be lonely because our Redeemer is our love that we are waiting to return.

This book was a tough read but it definitely opened my eyes to how I am living my daily life. I often think I am living for God's kingdom but all I am thinking is "me, me, me." I think of the principles in Tripp's book almost daily, asking myself why today was a good day (because of the Lord or because of me?) and how I treat others (like Jesus would or out of my own selfishness?). I would recommend this book to anyone but be ready to be convicted. You will end up angry, lonely, and groaning. At least that's how I feel.

Please pray as I apply big-kingdom living to my college life.
In Christ,
Christine ><>

C.S. Lewis says in Mere Christianity, "If you read history, you will find that the Christians who did most for the present world were those who thought most of the next [. . ]Aim at heaven and you will get earth 'thrown in': aim at earth and you will get neither."