Better Than My Dreams

If you read my previous post, you have seen that in the last year the Lord has been teaching me about patience and trust as I apply for teaching jobs. I have read two books the past year that have helped me so much in this journey: Better Than My Dreams by Paula Rinehart and Calm My Anxious Heart by Linda Dillow. I have been keeping a journal as I have read these books and I would like to share my thoughts to encourage anyone else who is in the same stage of life as me (looking for a job, uncertain about the future). **And sorry about the spacing in these posts. For some reason, blogger won't let me control the spacing between paragraphs. If you know how to fix this, leave a comment.** The "video" of my life has definitely played out differently than I originally hoped it would or thought it should. I thought by now I would be married and working. Here I am at 23, single and unemployed. However, a better plan did unfold that I didn't expect. I didn't expect the blessings of my sorority Alpha Delta Chi. I met my lifetime friends and grew so much socially and spiritually. Through them I also got involved in Campus Outreach. There I was blessed enough to receive the spiritual training that I have had and been on Summer Beach Project and CCP to Thailand. I have had time to grow in the Lord and learn more about my profession in this time in graduate school in which I have been substitute teaching. Sometimes I worry that God is holding out on me. With this job hunt, I am afraid He is saying "no" or "wait." However, after reading Isaiah 40, I can't tell God that He doesn't understand my desires. He is the One that gave me such desires! He is the Everlasting God, the Lord, Creator of the ends of the earth. He doesn't grow weary (v. 28) and never suffers setbacks. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak (v. 29). Those who wait on the Lord will gain new strength, mount up with wings like eagles, run and not get tired, walk and not become weary (v. 31). He is all-powerful and all-knowing. Wouldn't He have my best interests at heart? Oftentimes as humans, we suffer from entitlement. Entitlement is when we think God owes us; we think we deserve to have our dreams fulfilled. We sure don't! Life is a gift. We should be grateful for what we have. If we are not, we can be easily frustrated and disappointed. "The virus of entitlement will eventually steal from you nearly everything that's good. It will bar the door to a genuine, honest experience with God that includes the best of times-and some of the worst-all in the same container." -Paula Rinehart We see in Hebrews 2:9-10 that Jesus tasted death as a work of God's grace alone on behalf of everyone. Jesus fulfilled God's great plan for human beings. He was made lower than angels and suffered death on a cross, all to fulfill God's plan. We must learn to sacrifice our lives and desires for God's great plan. I see in Hebrews 13:20-21 that the same power that rose Jesus from the dead is in me! God equips me in every good thing to do HIS will. And He gets the glory out of it. Whatever God wants me to do with my life, He will equip me for, I have no reason to think I can't do it. I have been a believer for four years now but it is only in the last couple of years that I have really felt like I am scratching the surface on experiencing the Lord. I believe that God is slowly revealing more of His character to me. He wants me to keep growing and learning and He will keep teaching me the rest of my life. If this time of unemployment and singleness is for that, then by all means God, bring it on! Paula Rinehart describes "wild hope" in her book. I experience "wild hope" when I see God create a new ending out of a rough beginning, or a new beginning out of a rough ending. I had that feeling after an awful freshmen year at UNA. And what a wonderful time the rest of college was! I feel it now as I have a hope for what the Lord holds for me in the future. I have a hope that He will provide a job where I can work hard to bring Him glory. I will continue to be reflecting on this subject in the days to come. Thanks for reading and stay tuned. In Christ, Christine ><>