Be Where You Are

 Wedding season is among us.  My first wedding of the year was last week.  And it's all snowballing from here.  I am a bridesmaid in three weddings this year alone.  I am going to probably a dozen from now until the fall.  And there will be countless more engagements once we hit the holidays.  It's really easy for me to sit back and throw myself a pity party.  I'm 25, have two degrees and a stable job, have a dog and well-decorated apartment.  To an outsider, all I'm missing is a husband! ...and that's exactly what society thinks.  "Christine, when are you getting married?" "Christine, why aren't you married yet??" Y'all, here it is.  I'm laying it out there for you: It's not God's timing.

One thing I've learned amidst all the engagements last fall is to be where you are.  As I was shopping with my roommate Kathryn (the soon-to-be Mrs. White), I showed her a white lacy dress and suggested she consider it a "going-away" dress for her future wedding.  She was not engaged at the time, so she sighed heavily and replied, "We're not there yet. I'm not engaged. I just want to be where I am."

What??!! That was huge for me.  Here is a girl who is in a serious relationship and has every "right" to daydream about her wedding, and she doesn't!  Us single gals imagine our future weddings when we don't even have the groom and here Kathryn is, guarding her heart.  I took that line, "Be where you are" and applied it to my own life.

Fast forward three months to a time I first really felt this.  I was sitting in Odette's with my friend Sydney on Valentine's Day.  We had just seen a play and had a lovely dinner, just us two gal pals.  We were sitting there gushing about boys and the dates we had been on in the past year.  It just hit me as I was sitting there: I am loving this season of my life.  I love being a single 25-year-old (which by the way, is totally normal anywhere else in the States).  I love having a dog and roommates.  I love being able to stay late at work if I need to and cooking for just me.  I love going to the gym and laying on the couch all night if I want to.  I love meeting random guys and going on dates, even if it's just one. I love spending time with young girls in our community and teaching them the ways of Jesus.  I love hanging out with other women and learning from them.  God has me in this season for a reason and I can see why.  I am learning so much about Him, myself, and how to love others.

Now, this is not to say that the single life is better.  If you got married at 20, good for you!  You were able to find the one who your soul loves so early so you can spend more time with that person! And if you are still single, you have even more time to pour into those around you.  The saying that changed my perspective, "Be where you are" can be applied to anyone's life, no matter what stage.  If you are a young spouse, be where you are.  Enjoy growing up with your husband or wife.  If you are still single, be where you are.  Hang out with friends, go on lots of dates, enjoy being by yourself.  If you are a parent, be where you are.  Don't wish you were single or childless again.  You have the blessing of children!  I've heard this stage goes by fast so enjoy it.  If you are empty-nesters, be where you are.  Don't be sad about the lost days of having children at home.  Enjoy your time with your grown children, grandchildren, and spouse that you've grown old with.

We all pass through many stages in our lifetime, all ordained by our Father God.  And Father knows best.  He has planned with eternity in mind and when you enter each stage, reflect on how that moment is God-ordained.

Be. Where. You. Are.

In Christ,
Christine <><

Jesus Cares

Do you ever feel the longing for someone to understand you, to feel what you feel from the inside out?  Do you feel like David when he wrote Psalm 142?

"I cry aloud to the Lord; I lift up my voice to the Lord for mercy. I pour out my complaint before him; before him I tell my trouble...look to my right and see; no one is concerned for me. I have no refuge; no one cares for my life." (vs. 1, 2, 4)

I certainly feel like this certain days.  But David brings us comfort in verses 5-7:

"I cry to you, O Lord; I say, 'You are my refuge, my portion in the land of the living.' Listen to my cry, for I am in desperate need...set me free from my prison, that I may praise your name. Then the righteous will gather about me because of your goodness to me."

God is our refuge. He is our sanctuary, our safe place.  He is everything we need, our portion. 

Think of a situation where you felt loss, betrayal, abandonment, or fear. What would it mean to take in the reality that Christ understands, that He has lived your experience?  Have you lost a friendship? Jesus' disciples deserted Him.  Have you had a fear of the future?  Jesus trusted God even when He feared His crucifixion.  Jesus empathizes with us. That is what is so unique about our Savior-He has lived in this world. He knows.

Walking with God during a hard time in your life can result in the deepening friendship with the Lord.  In trusting in Him and relying on Him, I grow closer to Him.  He becomes more real to me as I see my need for Him. 

Psalm 23:4 reminds us that Christ is present in the shadow in the valley of death.  Even on my worst days, even when I think death is approaching, Christ is there.  If He is there in death, He is certainly with me during my everyday life.

"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10

I hope and pray that you find a friend in Jesus as I certainly have. He has been of great comfort this summer as He has reminded me time and time again, "I love you. I will provide for you."

In Christ,
Christine ><>

I'm Second

Have you really thought about what it means to "come in second?" What does it mean to put God first?  I definitely live sometimes as though it all depends on me.  Recently, while searching for jobs, I have felt like it is all up to me; I'm the one typing in the information on the computer; I'm the one mailing off my resume; I'm the one going to interviews. But is that really true? The Lord has ordained each of those steps; He knew each one before I came to be (Psalm 139).  During those times that I take control of my life, I feel like I am under a lot of pressure.  I expect to do everything perfectly and when I don't, I feel like a failure.  Proof that depending on yourself and not the Lord does not lead you anywhere.

When I think that I absolutely must find the "right" path or the "perfect" choice, my fear is that I will fail and mess things up for my future. But if I truly believed in the sovereignty of God, I would not have this fear. Even if I "mess up," it was all part of God's plan to sanctify me.  I am afraid sometimes to simply pray, trust God, and step out in faith because I am afraid I won't get what I want.  Do you ever feel this way?

"But the plans of the Lord stand firm forever, the purposes of his heart through all generations." Psalm 33:11

"I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that mean will revere him." Ecclesiastes 3:14

"I make known the end from the beginning, from ancient times, what is still to come.  I say: My purpose will stand, and I will do all that I please." Isaiah 46:10

Do you find comfort in those verses like I do?  God has a plan; He has since the beginning of creation and nothing will thwart that.  However, the challenge is having faith that God's plan has nothing but good things for me.  I often focus on the things that don't go "my" way.

Can you think about one thing in your life that you wish had turned out differently?  God never wastes an experience on us; He uses it for our good and His glory.

Have you ever thought about how worry and despair is a sin?  The early church fathers did.  Francis Chan discusses it in his book Crazy Love as well as Linda Dillow in Calm My Anxious Heart.  Worrying is a sin because we aren't trusting the Lord.  Wallowing in despair is sin because it is proclaiming we believe God gave up on us.  All of this is not true and is against who God is.

"For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." Ephesians 2:10  (I have read that "workmanship" can be translated to "poem." Isn't that beautiful?)

"being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Philippians 1:6

God created me, and you, for a purpose that He will carry to completion.

Now the practical question is, how will you see your life differently through the lens of God's sovereignty?  I try to see every single moment of my life with purpose.  I know that if something doesn't "work out," then God has something better for me. Better than my dreams.

In Christ,
Christine ><>

Disturbing Interruptions

Have you ever had a "disturbing interruption?"  Something unexpected happen, such as not getting an apartment that you expected, not getting the job that you interviewed for, or relationships that didn't last (all of which happened to me)?  However, in those cases, I got a better apartment, a better job, and I could have never married those guys!  Those seemingly "disturbing interruptions" actually were just God's plan stepping in.  In these seasons of my life, God has taught me to trust Him, pray for peace and understanding (not deliverance), that all things work together for my good, and that He has something better planned for me than I can ever imagine.  Next time you see something as an "interruption," trust that God has a plan in motion and He is not going to withhold anything good from you.

In Christ,
Christine ><>

Settling

At this point in my life, it is very easy to "settle". I have set high expectations for myself so if I feel like I am never going to reach them, I will be tempted to settle for second-best. This is applicable in the area of relationships and my career. We all know about "settling" when it comes to mating up. It is parallel to job hunting as well. I am going for what I want and not settling for something second-rate. So what is the danger of settling, not hoping, not wanting? It is this point that I don't trust God. I take matters into my own hands and find something that will just do. In Mark 10:46-52, Jesus asks, "What do you want me to do for you?" Jesus literally came out and was like, "So what's up? What do you desire? What can I do for you today?" That's awesome! So not only do I have a Savior who cares for me, but One who just asks what I want. However, what is your first response when He asks you that question? I feel unworthy and undeserving, and I feel like I shouldn't even bother asking Him because it is "too" big and I don't expect Him to fulfill it. I often just wave my hand and say, "Whatever Your will is." That may come off as trusting in the Lord, but it's not. That is a fearful answer, thinking God can't give me what I ask for. In this passage, Jesus gave Bartimaeus what he asked for. I can tell God I want His will, but I can also tell Him what I desire. For example: "Lord, I want your will to be done in my career. I would like a job at X School this school year." Disappointment is unmet expectations. When I face disappointment, I just brush it off, or in some cases, feel sorry for myself. In those seasons, I am not confident and I see God as a blurry figure like I can't figure out what He is doing. The response God is looking for is praise in His plan and us coming to Him sharing our feelings and desires. How lucky are we that we can go to the Lord any time and just tell Him what's on our mind? I can unload my burdens with Him and share my disappointments. My Savior has faced disappointment; He understands. The really important part is where we go with an aching heart. I often go to other people when I am hurting instead of the Lord. When I am hurting, my Savior is waiting for me with open arms. He wants to comfort me. I can find that comfort in His Word. I pray that you are trusting in the Lord as well, and not settling. In Christ, Christine ><>

Better Than My Dreams

If you read my previous post, you have seen that in the last year the Lord has been teaching me about patience and trust as I apply for teaching jobs. I have read two books the past year that have helped me so much in this journey: Better Than My Dreams by Paula Rinehart and Calm My Anxious Heart by Linda Dillow. I have been keeping a journal as I have read these books and I would like to share my thoughts to encourage anyone else who is in the same stage of life as me (looking for a job, uncertain about the future). **And sorry about the spacing in these posts. For some reason, blogger won't let me control the spacing between paragraphs. If you know how to fix this, leave a comment.** The "video" of my life has definitely played out differently than I originally hoped it would or thought it should. I thought by now I would be married and working. Here I am at 23, single and unemployed. However, a better plan did unfold that I didn't expect. I didn't expect the blessings of my sorority Alpha Delta Chi. I met my lifetime friends and grew so much socially and spiritually. Through them I also got involved in Campus Outreach. There I was blessed enough to receive the spiritual training that I have had and been on Summer Beach Project and CCP to Thailand. I have had time to grow in the Lord and learn more about my profession in this time in graduate school in which I have been substitute teaching. Sometimes I worry that God is holding out on me. With this job hunt, I am afraid He is saying "no" or "wait." However, after reading Isaiah 40, I can't tell God that He doesn't understand my desires. He is the One that gave me such desires! He is the Everlasting God, the Lord, Creator of the ends of the earth. He doesn't grow weary (v. 28) and never suffers setbacks. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak (v. 29). Those who wait on the Lord will gain new strength, mount up with wings like eagles, run and not get tired, walk and not become weary (v. 31). He is all-powerful and all-knowing. Wouldn't He have my best interests at heart? Oftentimes as humans, we suffer from entitlement. Entitlement is when we think God owes us; we think we deserve to have our dreams fulfilled. We sure don't! Life is a gift. We should be grateful for what we have. If we are not, we can be easily frustrated and disappointed. "The virus of entitlement will eventually steal from you nearly everything that's good. It will bar the door to a genuine, honest experience with God that includes the best of times-and some of the worst-all in the same container." -Paula Rinehart We see in Hebrews 2:9-10 that Jesus tasted death as a work of God's grace alone on behalf of everyone. Jesus fulfilled God's great plan for human beings. He was made lower than angels and suffered death on a cross, all to fulfill God's plan. We must learn to sacrifice our lives and desires for God's great plan. I see in Hebrews 13:20-21 that the same power that rose Jesus from the dead is in me! God equips me in every good thing to do HIS will. And He gets the glory out of it. Whatever God wants me to do with my life, He will equip me for, I have no reason to think I can't do it. I have been a believer for four years now but it is only in the last couple of years that I have really felt like I am scratching the surface on experiencing the Lord. I believe that God is slowly revealing more of His character to me. He wants me to keep growing and learning and He will keep teaching me the rest of my life. If this time of unemployment and singleness is for that, then by all means God, bring it on! Paula Rinehart describes "wild hope" in her book. I experience "wild hope" when I see God create a new ending out of a rough beginning, or a new beginning out of a rough ending. I had that feeling after an awful freshmen year at UNA. And what a wonderful time the rest of college was! I feel it now as I have a hope for what the Lord holds for me in the future. I have a hope that He will provide a job where I can work hard to bring Him glory. I will continue to be reflecting on this subject in the days to come. Thanks for reading and stay tuned. In Christ, Christine ><>

The Lord has been teaching me so much since this time last year. It started with the questioning of what to do with my career since I just graduated college. In my journal that I kept while in Thailand, I made a list of “options” having to do with my degree. That list includes nine different routes I could take. It may seem great to have a great list of options, but sometimes that is hard too; I can’t decide what to do! So I spent time last summer journaling my thoughts about each option: what I would be doing, pros, cons, and my general thoughts on each. It was great working through that but here I am, one year later, completely lost. It is August 4th and I have no idea what my future holds. I plan to graduate with my Master’s in December, but anything can change. What the Lord has taught me in the last year is the only thing that I can hold onto during this time. He has been teaching me that I am His child, that He cares for me, and that He wants the best for me. Here is Scripture that He used to speak to me: Genesis 2-3: God refrained from giving Adam and Eve certain knowledge (from the Tree of Life) because it was best for them not to know. It is best for me not to know every detail of my future. Exodus 14:14 “The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent.” Wouldn’t it make sense to believe this about God when He just rescued His people from Egypt? He is going to take care of me, even when I have trials. He will fight for me. Psalm 139:16 “in your book were written, every one of them, the days were formed for me, when as yet there was one of them.” Even before my parents knew of me, when I was still in my mother’s womb, the Lord was already showing His care for me. My life began in the womb and God had already laid out its course. Can’t I trust Him that He knows what He is doing? Matthew 6:26 “Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?” God takes care of the birds. He feeds them, knows what is best for them. Jesus says I am worth more than birds, so if the lesser is true, isn’t the greater also? Luke 11:9-13 “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and it will be opened to you. For everyone who seeks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened. What father among you, if his son asks for a fish, will instead of a fish give him a serpent, or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him!” My parents care for me and know what’s best for me. Wouldn’t my heavenly Father know what’s best for me too? Even more so than my parents? He will give me what I ask for according to His plans, which are better than I can imagine. Luke 12:28 “But if God so clothes the grass, which is alive in the field today and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, how much more will He clothe you!” Think about grass and how quickly it fades. Doesn’t God care for me more than grass? Romans 8:28 “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose.” God’s purpose is bigger and better than I can imagine! Wouldn’t He know what’s good for me, for my sanctification and His greater purpose? Romans 8:32 “He who did not spare His son but gave Him up for us all, how will He not also with Him graciously give us all things?” What would seem like best would be for God to spare His Son. But it wasn’t for our best. What is best for us was that Jesus would die so we could spend eternity in heaven. I can trust that God will fulfill His promises. I know that there are countless more verses that prove God’s faithfulness and the fact that He cares for us. But the Lord has been teaching me through the above verses that He is for me, not against me (Romans 8:31). He wants what is best for me, which is already planned out for His purpose. What I am anxious about the most right now is my future. It is going to be better than my dreams because He promises it will be! In Christ, Christine ><>

Pinocchio and the Gospel

So I have been learning a lot about the sovereignty of God and how He wants the best for His children. Wherever we are in our lives right now is what is best for us, whether we see it or not. I read in Luke 11 yesterday "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and it will be opened to you." (v. 9-10) Jesus goes on to say, "If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him!" (v. 13) Jesus knows that when our children ask us for something, we are not going to give them something that will hurt them, like a poisonous snake. We will give them what they ask for, as long as it's for their good. Won't our heavenly Father do the same? And to a much greater degree! So this morning I prayed that there wouldn't be any children in the nursery so I could go to worship (seems like a horrible thing to ask for but I wanted to go to church). However, when I got there, I had two kids. I questioned God why He would take away worshipping Him to watch two girls. I got my answer. I read the girls Disney's Pinocchio and the Holy Spirit spoke to me. Here's what I learned:

Pinocchio represents all of us. We are born into this life but as sinful beings and not whole yet; Pinocchio was a wooden boy, not a real boy yet. When Geppetto sends Pinocchio off to school, Pinocchio is tempted, just as we are every day of our lives. He gives into this temptation and works for a puppeteer. He has fun dancing but at night is locked up. When we fall into sin, it is fun at first, but then we get caught in it. There are consequences to our sin and we are slaves to it.

During the night, the Blue Fairy comes to Pinocchio. She asks him what happened. The Blue Fairy can represent Jesus in our analogy, coming to us as we are stuck in our sin. He gently asks us what happened. Pinocchio lied. We try to make excuses for our sin. After Pinocchio tells the truth, the Blue Fairy sets him free. After we confess our sin to Jesus, we are forgiven and released from the bondage of sin.

Pinocchio goes out the next day and is tempted again and goes to Pleasure Island. There he enjoys everything he could ever want but soon he starts to turn into a donkey. The evil guys tempt boys so that when they are wrapped up in the pleasures of the island, they turn into donkeys and he enslaves them to work for him. We are tempted by the pleasures of this world. Soon, we started to look like the world and Satan makes us his slaves.

Once Pinocchio gets away from Pleasure Island (which we can only do with the saving grace of Jesus), he goes to save his father. It's then he displays love and unselfishness. The Blue Fairy makes him a real boy. When we discover what it really means to be a son of God and surrender our lives to Him (showing love and unselfishness), then we are transformed and born again.

And of course, Jiminy Cricket is supposed to represent our conscience. We can go further and say he represents the Holy Spirit.

Thank you Jesus for keeping me in the nursery today. I saw the gospel in a new light through a secular children's story.

In Christ,
Christine ><>

Faith

As many of you know, I spent two months this summer in the northeastern region of Thailand on an evangelical mission trip. Nineteen of us from UNA and Samford ministered on the 30,000-student campus of Khon Kaen University every day during the week. We were focused on establishing relationships. We would go to the cafeterias for lunch and meet students. We would get to know them by showing interest in their lives and hanging out with them. When God opened doors, we would share parts of our testimonies or the gospel. Our main goal was not to share the gospel; it was to establish these friendships and introduce them to the ministry that we worked with. When we left Thailand, they were plugged into a ministry. One of my Thai friends, Tape, who we met at her sports practice, prayed to receive faith in Christ two weeks after we left! Tonight, I would like to share with you how my faith grew this summer.

God stretched me in so many ways this summer, and as a result, my faith grew and strengthened. For one, I was uncomfortable in Thailand. The beds in our dorm rooms were hard (the mattresses were made of coconut shells!). The food was different. We were on the other side of the world. It was hot and rainy all of the time. I did not speak the language. And let’s face it, I didn’t want to do ministry every day. I was stripped of all the American comforts I was used to. It was definitely the Lord that gave me strength to face the day and have a heart for the lost students on campus. Through all the tough things about Thailand, I really saw my need for the Lord. I really depended on Him to provide strength when I was sick or tired from no sleep on the hard beds. I was constantly in prayer when I was talking with a student. I was always seeking his guidance in what to say next in the conversation, what part of my testimony should I share, or if it is time to share the gospel. My faith grew because I saw how dependent I really am on the Lord.

The second way God grew my faith this summer was through ministry. I prayed for God to give me His eyes for the lost and to break my heart for what breaks His. He answered that prayer! I would look around at the masses of Thai students and just see dead bodies walking around. Without the saving grace of our Lord, the students are dead, just as we were dead in our sins before the Lord interceded on our behalf. In the words of John Wesley in one of his hymns, "No one can truly say that Jesus is the Lord, unless thou take the veil away and breathe the living Word. Then, only then, we feel the saving power." This made ministry more urgent for me. I would see a few hundred Thais a day. Statistically, only a few of those people would be Christians. The Thai unbelievers are on a fast track to hell by not knowing the Savior. We have to do something! In sharing the gospel and what the Lord has done in my life with my Thai friends, my faith in Him grew. It just had to.

The last way that my faith grew this summer was in seeing my sin. In the kind of environment that I was in, constantly surrounded by the CCP team and the American and Thai missionaries that loved the Lord, my sin was suddenly visible to me. I struggled for weeks because I was so caught up in the fact that I am a wicked sinner. I couldn’t get over how sinful I was and how ugly my sin looked. I wasn’t seeing the gospel. Our leader noticed this about a lot of us so he challenged us to look for the gospel around us. Sure enough I did see it everywhere around me. God gave me the strength to turn from gazing at my sin to gazing at the cross. What a gift He has given me! Saving me from my sin! All of it! I walked away with so much gratitude in my heart for my salvation. Nothing can separate me from the love of Christ, not even my own sin. My faith grew because I saw that I did not deserve grace and so my faith is truly a gift from God.

In Acts 20, Paul talks about going to Jerusalem. He doesn't know what is ahead except that the Holy Spirit will be with him. He knows imprisonment and afflictions await him but he doesn't count his life of any worth; he is only concerned with carrying out his purpose, and that is to serve the Lord. I really saw that this summer and have thought of Paul in my current situation: finding a job! The Lord wants the best for us; we just have to have faith in that.

Thank you to all of you who supported and prayed for me this summer. It was an incredible experience for me as I got to grow in my faith and in sharing it with others. I pray that God will continue to use this summer to change lives for the rest of eternity.

In Christ,
Christine ><>

Back on the Homefront

I have been back in the States now for a week. It has definitely has been an adjustment! I was really sick the first few days after the 2-day flight back home. My stomach shrunk in Thailand so I can't eat as much of the American food that I have been craving. But most of all, I miss Thailand. My dad and I ran up to his church last night and on the way home he asked if I was okay. He said I seemed a little depressed. (I had been very quiet and soft-spoken the two days I had been home.) I said yes, I was okay but my eyes filled with tears. I told him I missed Thailand. "Even with the food, the heat, the hard beds, etc. etc.?" he asked. Yes, of course. Those things didn't matter in the great scheme of things. I've been missing the team, the fellowship we had together, how we could always talk about the Lord together and encourage each other. How we laughed and joked together around the dinner table. I didn't exactly find that when I returned home. I miss the Thais, how joyful they are and their beautiful smiles. I miss how we would laugh together over the silliest things and how we would share even just elementary basics about God (whatever the language barrier would allow). I miss the overall experience in Thailand. It is going to be hard the next few weeks adjusting back to life here. My fear is that I will fall back into the American routine and forget about Thailand and what I learned this summer. It will be my constant prayer that it won't happen.

So what did I learn this summer? So much more than I will ever be able to communicate. However, I want to attempt to share my heart with you, to encourage you and as a way to express my gratitude towards your support this summer.

I really learned more about God this summer. I reflected back on the beginning. Buddhists don't believe in a Supreme Being that created the world. God created the world. He wrote the story of life on earth for all time (Psalm 139:16b). Therefore, He has all authority. Why not believe? Buddhists believe in idols that are empty of value. They can't save their worshipers. They can't even move; they have to be carried. God carries His people (Isaiah 46:4). He saves. He loves. He never fails His people like the idols do. God can heal us. God comforts us (Psalm 31:1-5). God did not spare His Son (Romans 8:32). So why would He withhold good things from us? God is sovereign-He is the Potter. Why would I question Him (Romans 9:21)?

As for a ministry update, overall, my ministry team met over 100 girls. We followed up with about 20 of those girls. We had really close relationships with 3 of them and 1 will be joining Bow's Bible study! Within another ministry team, 2 girls came to Christ! Praise be to Him!

Please continue to pray for the Isan people group. They are the 26th most unreached people group in the world, and we came in direct contact with so many of them.

Thank you for all of your support and prayers this summer! The journey is not over!

In Christ,
Christine ><>

God's Sovereign Choice

I have been studying Romans 8 and 9 and how they apply to evangelism. God will have mercy on whom He chooses; He will have compassion on whom He chooses (v. 15). No one can resist the will of God! How can we question our Maker (v. 19-21)? He has prepared each one of us for His glory, whether for destruction or exaltation (v. 23).

Paul wishes himself to hell in order that others may know Christ. Those verses (2-3) have been in the back of my mind this summer. I could not say that! I want to say that I want the Esan people group to come to know the Lord but to give up my own salvation for that? What does that say about my heart for the lost?

But the difference is that Paul has a heart like Christ. Jesus sacrificed a perfect union with the Father so that we can spend eternity with Him. Paul was willing to do the same.

I have been trying to look around KKU and see the students through eternal lenses-the students are just bones walking around because they are spiritually dead. What a responsibility we have! Even though God chooses who He will save, we have the responsibility to make His name known. "Faith comes through hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word of Christ" (Romans 10:17). We as believers are preachers of the Word. The lost are in great need of the Word. What are we doing about it?

Ministry has been great on campus. I have been able to share bits of the gospel and my testimony with one girl. What I have to remember is that my primary goal being here is creating friendships and interest. The CO staff will share the gospel when the time is right down the road. Building that relationship of trust is what we need to do right now. In saying that, God is working! Two girls have come to know Christ this week! Praise Him!

Thank you for your prayers! We have 3 days left on campus then a retreat with just the team. I cannot believe the summer is almost over!

Prayer requests:
1.)that God provides time in the students' schedule to hang out this week.
2.)that I have energy to pour out love this next week.
3.)that our team's heart for the nations continues to grow.

Thank you for your support!
In Christ,
Christine ><>

Ministry Update

CCP Thailand: Team Update Week 5 from Matt & Erin Francisco on Vimeo.

Ministry Update Podcast 2

Adoption Into God's Family

Last Friday, June 24th, CCP and COT staff went to visit an orphanage in the city of Khonkaen. The facility was very nice, colorful, and welcoming. We arrived for morning snack (which we provided-thanks supporters!). We sat with them as they drank milk and ate crackers. Of course they speak no English and hardly provided their names when we asked.

Then we took the children (ages 2 1/2 to 6) outside to play on the playgrounds. The girl I was holding took off so I just ran around with a few and took pictures. Then I went with the toddlers to another playground. I picked up one boy (we called him Dino because of his dinosaur shirt) because he was crying over his spilled snack. I carried him to the playground and had him sit on my lap while he ate. Another little girl climbed onto my lap. After Dino finished he eating he climbed down, I continued to hold the little girl (we'll call her Mai because she said "mai" a lot which means "no"). I played with her on the playground for awhile but then she just wanted to be held. Every time I tried to put her on the ground or on the playground equipment, she would scream "mai mai mai!!!" I knew it wasn't going to be pretty when we left. Sure enough she screamed bloody murder when we started to leave, even when I took off her shoes to go in the building. I tried to put her on the floor but she clung to me and screamed and cried. When I pulled her off my body she writhed on the floor as if she was in pain. All I could think was "I am totally messing you up for life kid. You have major attachment problems." I absolutely loved her and it broke my heart to leave. I wanted to scoop her back up and take her home. It saddens my heart to think that she is still there with dozens of other children without a mother and father. In Thailand, mothers are allowed to bring children to the orphanage if they don't want them. However, the mother can come back and get the child. Therefore, it is very hard to adopt in Thailand. Still, when the time comes, I would love to adopt from Thailand.

I left the orphanage thinking of how I am adopted as a son into God's family. And I say "son" because I can receive the full inheritance of a son.

"But when the time had fully come, God sent his Son, born of a woman, born under law, to redeem those under law, that we might receive the full rights of sons...So you are no longer a slave, but a son; and since you are a son, God has made you also an heir." Galatians 4:4,5,7 (NIV)

"I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord God Almighty." 2 Corinthians 6:18 (NIV)

"In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will." Ephesians 1:4b-5

"For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry 'Abba, Father.' The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs-heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ..." Romans 8:15-17a

God has chosen me! The beautiful thing about adoption is that the parents chose the child. God chose me, even before I was born. God has pursued me and LOVES me as His own daughter. I am fully accepted by Him and can be secure in this.

I pray that the children at the orphanage will also be chosen by earthly parents and that they have been chosen by God to know Him. Please pray that prayer with me.

Week 5 of ministry has begun. We are meeting with several girls each day. We have met over 100 girls and we have established relationships with 20 of those girls. We have been sharing the gospel with a few of them and growing closer and closer to them each day. Please pray for time to hang out with them and for us to find "entry gates" to share the gospel.

In Christ,
Christine ><>

Thai Orphanage Video

Self-forgetfulness

The biggest thing that God has shown me thus far in the summer is my sin. The root of all sin is pride according to C.S. Lewis. Looking at my life, it really is the cause of all of my sin. Feeling superior to others, feeling inferior to others so acting to counteract that feeling, wanting to feel superior, comparing myself to others, and countless other sins that are caused by self-exaltation. We listened to a sermon this week by Tim Keller called “Humility: Blessed Self-forgetfulness.”

Paul says in 1 Corinthians 4, “I care very little if I am judged by you or by any human court; indeed, I do not even judge myself. My conscience is clear, but that does not make me innocent. It is the Lord who judges me” (v. 3, 4; NIV).

According to Keller, pride is an overinflated, swollen, inflamed ego. However, the heart is empty. You have built your life around something other than God (self). Pride is busy! My ego is constantly comparing myself to others and boasting; it is trying to fill its emptiness. “Pride by nature is competitive” (C.S. Lewis). Our ego is also fragile because it is overinflated. It is “puffed up and not filled up.”

If we look at the life of Paul from 1 Corinthians 4, we see that he thinks this: “I don’t care what people think about me. I don’t care what I think of myself. I only care about what God thinks.” And the awesome thing about that is that God looks at us like we are perfect because we are covered with the blood of Christ! Why should we care about what others think of us or what we think about ourselves?

Tim Keller calls this self-forgetfulness. Have you ever just forgotten yourself? Just completely forgot about your feelings, pains, emotions, how you are looking to everyone else and focused your thoughts on other things such as the Lord and serving others? When do you feel your toes? Only when they hurt. Otherwise you have forgotten them. I’ll admit that I rarely even think to try to do that. I’m always caring about how I look (to others and myself), how I behave around others, and how I can impress people. Notice a common theme in each phrase? What can I do for me. Why not how can I be serving others through my words and actions right now? How can I be praising the Lord and bringing His name glory right now?

Since hearing this sermon and discussing it with other girls on our team, it has made me really want to forget myself. I’ll tell you, it really is a freeing feeling to not care about how I look here in Thailand. I have been trying to focus on how I can serve our team instead of how I can impress them with my ministry. But it has been so hard.

God is revealing so much sin in my life and it really hurts. My ego has taken a hit because I haven’t convinced myself that it only matters what God thinks of me and He sees Jesus in me. It’s amazing for me to see how I am here to share the gospel but I am not seeing it in my own life.

As for ministry on campus, week four has begun along with a new chapter in our ministry. Now that we have made over 100 new contacts (praise God!), we are slowing down to follow up with girls that we had a strong response from. Last week we went to Wan Wai Kru which is an event where freshmen make elaborate gifts for their teachers out of banana leaves, flowers, and ribbon. They were so beautiful! While the students spent countless hours making these gifts, we were able to sit down with them and get to talk with new students and with girls that we already knew. It was such a great night!

I have gotten into deep conversations with girls, especially about Buddhism, and have been able to talk to them about the Lord and share the gospel! It is such a reaffirmation of my faith to share it with others! Please be praying that we can continue to hang out with these girls to grow in our friendships with them in order to establish trust to share the gospel.

Thank you for being supportive with your prayers!

In Christ,
Christine ><>

Transportation in Thailand

The Fruits of Thailand Part 1

Ministry Update Podcast 1